Friday, 04 December 2009

• Literalness of Autism

  I have to admit that between the years I learned how to understand metaphors, similies, and analogies and the time I had my children, I forgot how literal the mind can be. I used to struggle with these things and avoid them when reading but one author changed that for me.

  Stephen King. Weird, huh? Well, not really. See... in books and short stories I always called descriptive passages (the ones with the metaphors and what not) as "filler." I would pay more attention to the dialogue. That turned out to be a bad thing with Stephen King. If you scan his "filler" you often miss details important to the story and understanding what is going on. He also leaves huge clues in that filler that could portend to what is going to happen at the end of the story. I'd often go back and reread the filler and then end up slapping my forehead and saying "DUH!" I made a determined effort to understand idioms, metaphors, similies, analogies and all those other pesky illogical details often contained in stories. I still don't see the literary value in having them in there to confuse people like me, but I can intellectually understand that the majority of readers probably don't have the same problem. So I adapted myself and learned.

  The problem with that? I have to learn literalness all over again to commicate more effectively with my sons! Both of them are literal but it was my oldest who has been showing me more often that I have to be careful with what I say and how I say it.

  The first thing was that I gestured a hand signal to him for "I love you." This I use with my husband when I'm leaving the house instead of waving. One holds up their thumb, index finger and pinky finger. I asked Thomas if he knew what it meant, because I was thinking I could use that when I drop him off and he wouldn't get embarassed by his friends but I wanted to make sure he understood what it meant. He told me "Yeah, it means I love you. Do you know what this means?" and he held up his first three fingers. I said "W?" And he smiled and said "Three." He made a joke! YAY!

  Then the other day we're watching the movie "Return to Me' with David Duchovony and Minnie Driver. Cute movie. And the lady leaves for Italy as she's an artist and has always wanted to paint scenes there. Thomas asked me "Why did she leave?" and I explained, "She went to paint Italy." He said to me in return "I don't think the Italians will like her painting Italy. How would she know what colors to use? What if the owner of the building she's painting doesn't like it." Another duh moment for me. I corrected myself. "She's going to Italy to paint pictures of it."

  There were a few more instances of this and it jsut served to remind me that I spent my whole life adapting and becoming that "productive" adult that my parents had always wanted me to be. Now, in order to do the same for my kids, I have to revert back to what I was so that I can help them through their journey. It's definately interesting!

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