Wednesday, 01 September 2010

• At-Home Days

  Today my son Thomas and Brandon are having "at-home" days. These days are because they are experiencing extreme difficulty with symptoms of their autism. Mostly, it's the pressure to "perform" for their peers and authority figures at school to be more "normal" than they are. It takes a lot of effort on each child to maintain a controlled presence in the face of all they experience.
  
  Occasionally, I will pick up on signs that it's getting to be too much. They've been back in school a month now and usually these at-home days don't pop up until the third month. For whatever reason though, there were definite signs that it was getting to be all too much.
  
  For my oldest, who recently turned 12, getting him TO school is a chore nearly every day. Yet, during the summer he whines until he can go back. It's the getting up, showered, dressed, to the bus stop, the bus ride, and "arriving" at school that is the actual problem. Once he's there, he's usually good to go. For someone like him who has extreme difficulties with executive functioning tasks (getting organized and getting to places on time, etc), this morning routine can be draining.
  
  For my youngest, who is 8 years old, the problem is at school, once he gets there. He travels on a special bus at special times so to avoid the "crowd." When he's at school, he's in a large class. This year, he has two teachers. He spends a half day with his classmates with one teacher; then, after lunch the whole class switches to spend the remainder of the day with the second teacher. This is the first time he's done this as a student and it's quite disconcerting for him. Even though the whole class switches with him, it's the whole class that switches with him.
  
  We have plans that in a month or so, depending on how well he does with this, to switch him. The second half of his day will be spent in the resource room with his one-on-one aide and a small group of children on a developmental level similar to his. This will probably help towards ending the need for "at-home" days as it's less stressful for Bboy.
  
  For different reasons, both boys at times need a day off that doesn't fall on the weekend or an otherwise scheduled day off from school. I do my best to limit these at home days because if they are to attend school at a brick-and-mortar location, it is in their best interest to attend on all scheduled days. As I said though, there are signs that they are cracking.
  
  For Thom, it comes in the form of surliness beyond cranky. He will begin to absolutely refuse to do anything that does not involve his favorite subject of the moment (Yugi-oh! again). This includes showering, changing clothes, watching TV, reading, going on to the bus, getting in the car, and sometimes even going the bathroom. Some may say "Well, make him!" I cannot physically force this child to do anything. He is 5'5" and about 180 pounds. He's taller than me. I cannot MAKE him to anything he doesn't choose to do.
  
  For Brandon, he is usually happy-go-lucky and will do any chore requested of him, no matter what it is. He's happy and giggly and loves making jokes. For him to turn around and start becoming surly is a HUGE sign that something is not right in his world. He begins to cry when the bus shows up, telling me he'll get "hurt" at school but can't tell me what gets injured, other than his mind. That, to me, is a huge sign he's on overload.
  
  Yes, Thom is often surly by nature. That's just a part of who he is a lot of the time. But this absolutely refusal is different than his arguing to do something. He'll do it, you'll just hear about it, is the usual course of events for him. To absolutely REFUSE, even under the threat of punishment, tells me that overload is occurring.
  
  Those signs pop up and I look for the source. It is not always school that causes overload. There are times where going to church, bible study, friends' houses, etc. that cause similar overload. I limit the activity that is causing the overload. In this case, today, school has overloaded both of them. Usually it is just one or the other. This is the first time it's been both.
  
  However, just because they need a day off from the pressure of a large group doesn't mean they need a day off from school or learning. Bboy always has work that needs completing in his school bag and that is what he works on when he's home (reading, math, writing exercises).
  
  Thomas usually finishes all his work in class and so doesn't bring home work. However, the school offers a website where kids can log on and do work via a program. That is what T works on for his "at-home" days.  He can work on math skills, reading skills, writing skills, and computer skills (such as typing).  He also has an essay he needs to work on.
  
  Well, a storm has arrived and so I will post this. I'm just sharing this because there may be parents out there who may be interested to see how one family handles things.
  
  

  This may not work for every family. Plus, laws governing absences may differ. My children have this “at-home” option written into their IEPs (Individualized Education Plans).  

  
  
  

  • 1:20 PM
  • 342 Views
  • 0 eProps
  • 0 Comments